The Saga

So the on again off again friendship with Jeff continues. What the hell am I doing here? I've given up talking to him, and I've decided his idea of friendship is nothing like what I consider friendship to be. I am there for people, and expect them to be there for me. That means keeping in touch via email, or just calling and leaving a message, and most importantly...communicating.

This has gotten to be a problem on the kickball team. At least for me it is. Philip says I should just kick the ball so hard it knocks his boys up into his lungs. For me, if he doesn't want contact...that's fine, but it would be nice to know what I did so wrong? Everything seemed fine at the comedy show and picnic. Now he won't even look at me at a kickball game?

I finished the art piece he asked me to finish for him. I had it wrapped in plastic and gave it to him after the game. Not even a thank you.

The piece is cool though. I mirrored the back and painted everything but the face. That way the only place you can see a clear reflection is in the face of the woman. I named it Lessons Learned. My reasoning is because in the picture, she is apprehensive about the computer, but in actuality the problem is really with her. The is usually the same situation for most people. The stresses in life are really caused by the person's own doing. That's why the face is clearly reflective. The piece is hard to describe, but I plan on placing a picture of it online once the website goes live in November.

HalloWeekends

Halloweekends started at Cedar Point and Shamus asked if I wanted to go with him. I figured why not, it will be a blast, and I could use the time to get away. Not to mention, I could use the rollercoaster therapy.

So Shamus gets to my place by 11:00 and off we go down I-90 heading to Sandusky. The weather was incredible, lower 70's, sunny, so I figured it's going to be packed. Wrong. Park was absolutely empty. Longest line was for the Millennium Force (as always) at 2 hours long. Top thrill dragster was running a 2 1/2 hour line.

I felt a little bad for Shamus when we were on the Mantis. He being 6'7", he is just too tall for that ride. He ends up not being able to stand correctly and hurts his back. I'm so used to being short (5'6") that I actually forget that people his size can not ride all the rides. Live and learn I guess. He did look pretty wrecked from the ride though.

Was doing good until the evening, when for some reason I just got intensely tired. I haven't been sleeping a lot lately and I think it just hit me all of a sudden. We got back to the house at 1:30 and I just collapsed into bed...and was out like a light.

Which was problematic as I was supposed to meet Ed for a drink when I got back. By the time I would have gotten changed, the bar would have been closed though.

Here we go again

Jeff read my email message on Monday...deletes it, and never responds. It's been four days (he usually responds right away) and now suddenly he is missing in action again.

I'm not sure what I did wrong this time, but I'm sick of feeling bad over this. If he doesn't want to be friends, he needs to just say so. Not treat me nicely and then ignore me again. Today is Friday and he didn't even speak to me at last night's game.

I'm about to kick his moody butt up and down this virtual street. It's not right to treat people this way.

Once you quote Diana Ross, you really have reached the gayest point of your life.

Set me free, why don't you babe?
get out my life, why don't you babe?
'cause you don't really love me
you just keep me hanging on
Set me free, why don't you babe?
get out my life, why don't you babe?
'cause you don't really need me
but you keep me hanging on
Why do you keep a-comin' around
playing with my heart
why don't you get out of my life
and let me make a brand new start
let me get over you
the way you've gotten over me, yeah
Set me free, why don't you babe?
get out my life, why don't you babe?
'cause you don't really love me
you just keep me hanging on
now you don't really need me
you just keep me hanging on
You say although we broke
you still just wanna be friends
but how can we still be friends
when seeing you only breaks my heart again
and there ain't nothing I can do about it...
Get out, get out of my life
and let me sleep at night
'cause you don't really love me
you just keep me hanging on
You say you still care for me
but your heart and soul needs to be free
now that you've got your freedom
you wanna still hold on to me
you don't want me for yourself
so let me find somebody else
Why don't you be a man about it and set me free
now you don't care a thing about me
you're just using me
get out, get out of my life
and let me sleep at night
'cause you don't really love me
you just keep me hanging on
'Cause you don't really need me
you just keep me hanging on

So here I am...I get angry at j...then he does something nice...then I get angry at him again when he doesn't talk to me again. I feel like he is stringing me along anymore. We go to kickball games (being on the same team) and he doesn't even speak to me. What did I do? I've invited him and his boyfirend out for drinks...not that he's accepted. So I've decided it's just better to write him off as someone that has left my life.

Things seem ok now.

So I go to the comedy show with Jeff. It was ok...some of the skits were worse than Saturday Night Live, but then I'm pretty critical of comedy since it was my somewhat profession. Todd gave Jeff complimentary tickets, so in actuality, he still owes me tickets as I would have had to pay for them had I lost the bet.

After dinner we went back to his place where I got to see his skydiving video. His turned out really nice, and it bums me out that I hadn't gotten mine. Of course it comes in the mail today.

I found out that Todd was out of town at a wedding that night. Obviously why he was able to go out. The nice part was he actually told me how he felt about Todd. The both of them were planning on going to the softball picnic yesterday. I didn't want to go, but figured if they were showing up, it was the least I could do.

I guess it was a good thing. I was voted MVP and was given a trophy. Cute little bronze mitt with a softball.

I figure he is trying to make ammends, so water under the bridge. I sent him a message today, via email.



Hey,
I just wanted to thank you again for dinner on Saturday...you still owe me PURCHASED tickets (if I lost...I would have had to pay) but we'll do that again sometime.

Also thanks for sharing what Todd means to you. I've missed being the person you talk to lately.

Have a day....get more than 4 stores done!
p

My Decision

So I figure I'm being a baby about this. If Jeff is trying to make ammends (not to mention he owes those tickets as payment for a bet), then I should just go to the comedy show with him. So I told him I can do it. He made arrangements for Saturday night.

Now I will stress until Saturday night about weather it is going to be tense with us or not. Part of me has a bad feeling about this, but first and foremost, he's been my best friend over the summer, and I value that friendship over any bad feelings between us.

He suggested dinner before hand, so I guess I'm up for it. Either I'm going to get really burned, or we are going to continue being friends.

Making Amends?

Jeff contacts me today and wants to go to the Second City comedy show. We last spoke two weeks ago, and he won't answer my emails. I'm not pleased with him, but I understand he is busy. It seems like he is trying to make up for being such a jerk lately. I don't understand why he won't answer messages though. I am I being a pest to him?

I'm also very apprehensive about going to the show with him. His boyfriend works at the Playhouse Square and may very well join us. Not that it would be a bad thing, but after his last blindsiding, I'm not so sure I trust him not to do that. So I am holding off on making a decision on going. I told him I would let him know by Wednesday.

The Flying Fig

I went out to dinner last night with Shamus at the Flying Fig. The weather is starting to get cold, which made it a bit chillly to sit out side. After two martinis however, I felt warmer.

After dinner, we went to Twist for a bit. I ran into some friends there, but once again...I was getting a bit tired, so I decided it was time to go home. Had a good time though.

Forgiveness

So I'm trying to not kill Jeff here, but I decided I need to find out why he tried to hurt me. I tried talking to him in person...but within seconds, I knew I didn't trust him enough to talk about it with him. Instead I emailed him and he emailed me back, but I'm not sure what is going on now. I've forgiven him, but it's going to take a long time to get over what he did. He just doesn't seem to understand. His excuse "You and I have different ideas of what constitutes a date".

He's become withdrawn since he met Todd, and we never talk anymore. I completely understand wanting to spend time with the new interest...but I've learned the hard way to never abandon your friends as they always stand by you.

Broken Promises

Jeff has crossed the line. After last month, I made him promise me that he would never take me on one of his dates again, and today he broke that promise.

I got an email this morning from Jeff asking if I wanted to go to Union Station for dinner and to watch a couple of television shows. I agree to go and show up at the meeting time, an hour before the show starts. He isn't there yet, so I order a dinner. He shows up five mintes before the show starts (55 minutes late), sits down, and the first thing out of his mouth is "I hope you don't mind, but Todd is coming".

I'm livid. I am going on one of his dates again. Before I can get the waiter to stop and actually bring my check, Todd shows up. Now I have to admit...you can tell that they both have it bad for each other, and I will say I would have probably been a lot nicer had I known up front what was going on, but I was absolutely blind sided.

I end up shutting down, and not talking to either them. When the waiter finally brought my check (and put Jeff's beer on my bill) I just paid and said I was ready to go and walked out the door.

So I'm trying to figure out if he purposely wanted to hurt me, or if he was just being his regular selfish self. He's broken my trust in him, and I don't know if I ever can trust him again.

Disappearance

So Jeff has disappeared off the face of the Earth. He has not called or emailed me since he went on his first date with Todd. We had plans today to go to Cedar Point, but I never heard from him. I finally got fed up and called him...no answer. After I waited around for nearly three hours, I figured he wasn't interested in going and had forgotten. Then I get an email that night from him.

Sorry I didn't take your call. I was a bit preoccupied.

Ok...I know what that means. Thanks for sharing that you were getting laid...but how about a bit of common courtesy!